Hairpin and Ebert: Hairpin Begins Reviewing Films

“Doctor Zhivago” – reviewed by Hairpin March 25, 2020

"Doctor Zhivago" – It's one of those films that all cinephiles know or are expected to know.  I can't imagine what film school is like, but I imagine Doctor Zhivago is one of the foundational films all future directors study.  And they should.  Doctor Zhivago hit theatres in 1965.  It was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 5 of them, though not any of the big ones like Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress, Best Director.

It's March 2020 and the world is shut down for the COVID-19 virus and social distancing, so I am going back and watching these films cinephiles love.  I was hesitant because I hate following the herd, plus this film is over three hours long.  In the 21st century film studios discourage directors from making films longer than 2 hours, let alone 3.  After chickening out, then psyching myself up, I finally made my couch comfortable and set up 3 hours worth of snacks close by.  While I did devour 3 hours worth of snacks, Doctor Zhivago's pacing made it seem like a normal 2 hour movie.

Doctor Zhivago, a film by David Lean, tells two tales: The tale of Dr. Yuri Zhivago, a general practitioner, poet, and star-crossed lover as he navigates an ever changing world, and the tale of Russia and it's violent transformation from Tsarist Russia to Communist Russia.

I'll share my favorite nugget in the movie.  A hidden gem of a quote that transcends time and is still relevant today.  Zhivago's medical professor is trying to discourage Zhivago from becoming a General Practitioner and pursue research, but to no avail.  The professor knows his young and impressionable student is drawn to humans.  So he offhandedly warns young Zhivago, "Life ... He wants to see life ... Well you'll find that pretty creatures - do ugly things; to people."  It is a tiny, subtle foreboding of what's to come.  For Zhivago, for the cast, for Russia.

So many things about this movie stand out, but there are two things that jumped out at me.  1.) We always hear "love story, love story, remarkable love story" attached to this film, but David Lean, Director, and Robert Bolt, screenplay, detailed the gritty, alarming, and deadly transition from the Tsar Dynasty through the Bolshevik Revolution to Communism's infancy.  We see famished and starved Russian soldiers armed with sticks charging German machine guns, we see the rich bourgeois share their lavish homes with peasants, then lose their homes.  We see the outcome of civil war between Russia's White army and Red Army.  For those who don't know Russian history, the movie Doctor Zhivago provides a dramatic introduction to Russia in the early 20th Century.

SPOILER ALERT:

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The second thing that jumped out at me was the unabashed sexual assault that occurred in the movie.  It wasn't a gratuitous nudity shot of a young beautiful woman that is common today, but Victor Komarovsky's (Rod Steiger) multiple assaults of Lara are jarring in the 21st century.  This film was from 1965.  I've never seen a portrayal of an unabashed sexual predator in a film so old.  Rod Steiger acting was so good, I wanted him shot.  To be clear, movies in this time may have insinuated a sexual assault occurred, but DZ showed Komarovsky overpowering Lara's fight and raping her without consent.  I am surprised the repressed Motion Picture Association of America allowed this scene to remain in the final cut.

Okay, on to my take on the "love story."  Meh.  Really.  Zhivago cheats on his wife Tonya (Geraldine Chaplin) to be with Lara (Julie Christie), but when he sees how much it is bothering her he attempts to leave Lara and return to Tonya (before he is kidnapped into military service.)  I wanted to love the love story, I wanted to cry tears for unrequited love.  Instead, I came away thinking, this protagonist really doesn't know what he wants. 

Having said this, this is still an amazing film.  The Oscars for Best Writing, Best Cinematography, and Best Music Score are well deserved.  I'm shocked that Steiger wasn't nominated, but Tom Courtenay deservedly was nominated.  He played Lara's first love and future husband, Pasha Antipov (Strelnikov).  Of all the characters in the film, Courtenay's Pasha transforms the most, and not in a pleasant way.  Sir Alec Guinness deserves praise for his limited screen time as Zhivago's half brother Yevgraf Zhivago.   There are reams of "little things" in this movie I could review, but I forgot to mention the choice to begin the movie with Guinness' Yevgraf obtuse narrative that quickly gains focus and hooks the wannabe cinephile.  Great job by Lean and Guinness.

Again, great movie that still holds up.  Go see it.  I didn't give it 5 stars because the love story didn't live up to the hype that has been, well, that has been hyped, but I'm a cynic.  The rest of the movie is superb.

(This is actually my fourth film review.  See all my film (Eric Hairpin) reviews on letterboxd.com)

The Hairpin Chronicles: Love in the Time of Coronavirus

The Hairpin Chronicles

Reboot: Volume 1 Issue 4

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

March 2020

 

So as Syracuse Q or Bronx A points out, the Hairpin Chronicles is over due (by a measly 3 months.)  Had I written this in January, I would have had some major announcements.  Had I neglected to that (I did), then I’d still have some kind of big news to share.  Failing those two chances (I did), then I would have still had some major epiphanies and feelings to express, but now I’m in mid-March 2020 and the world has sheltered itself indoors and away from everything.  Or as my new favorite meme suggests, “Sorry folks, the world’s closed.”

As Social Distancing transitioned from jokes and indecision into “What the EFF” is happening, New York City felt a lot like it did the immediate week after the September 11 attack on the World Trade City.  The mood everywhere was somber and not a whole lot of people wanted to leave their house.  Just kidding, no one wanted to leave their apartment – there ARE no houses in New York City.  A big difference is that bars remained open where people could drown their sorrows with friends and empathic strangers.  Plus, the despair and uncertainly lifted after three weeks to a month as the fires were extinguished and the city began rebuilding.

Now though, I’m pretty sure we haven’t gotten to the new status quo yet and when we do, it will last more than the month or six weeks the politicians are telling us.  My employers sent everyone home with laptops to work remotely.  I fought it and stayed in my enclosed office with two monitors, but once the NYC schools shut down I was forced to work remotely AND watch two nuclear bundles of energy trapped in a 600 square foot “junior one bedroom.”  Nothing has been fun about this.  I haven’t had toilet paper buying issues or long lines.  I don’t eat a lot of things that other people buy.  I’ve been a vegetarian for over a month and my local store always has the perishable vegetables (I just wrote and said that in my head for the first time ever – “Perishable Vegetables” sounds like a super fun song They Might Be Giants would sing, If Those Giants Might Still Be Singing.)

I have become a Zoom expert.  Between team meetings, meetings with students, and online play dates, I take part in at least 7 Zoom conference calls a day.  On one day, I was simultaneously on a team meeting, hosting an online play date for Thing 2, and trying to follow the online dance party group I have joined.

It's not all gloom and doom though.  I’ve communicated with some people through social media that I “didn’t” have time to.  I had a golden nugget of an amazing time chatting with a friend from the TrollTour movie.  It was short, chill, and a perfect social distancing moment.  It also reminded me how humans can build such strong, intense friendships with other humans that “pop” in and out of your life.  There’s been A LOT of “popping” in my life and I am very thankful for the people who had a physical presence in my life for a few years, but have taken permanent storage in my heart.  It’s really nice.  It’s reassuring have these relationships and it’s the buoys that I’ll hang onto instead of drowning in the Seas of “TEEZ”: anxieTEEZ and uncertainTEEZ.  (Yes, it did hurt this English major to spell those words so horribly wrong.) 

And now I present…

Haiku of the Month 
Anxiety and
Uncertainty clog my thoughts
But hope still dreams big

So yeah, I mentioned that NYC feels very similar to the post-9/11 NYC and I will tell you why that’s a good thing.  New Yorkers were SO incredibly nice and kind to each other as we dealt with the horrors of September 11^th.  It lasted for months.  I am seeing and I am feeling that coming back, but if “Flattening the Curve” takes several months, then I am hoping so does the kindness and generosity.  My bet says it does!

Also, the funniest I have EVER been in my life was the days and weeks after the September 11^th attacks.  Everyone around me was so glum and sad, so I went OUT of my way to make everyone laugh and I excelled at it!  I did some stupid and ridiculous things, anything that would get someone to crack a smile.  With Social Distancing soon to become Shelter in Place, it’s a bit more difficult.  I’ve been adding some fun dance videos on my facebook page and I might expand it to Zoom Karaoke and maybe Zoom Open Mics who knows.

Before checking in on accountability, let me share a favorite word of mine: “choice.”  You choose your perception and you choose who writes your own personal narrative.  Is the pandemic horrible?  In a lot of ways, yes, but I have made the choice to be healthy and I have made the choice to find the nuggets of joy, the nuggets of family, and the nuggets of friendship that encircle us every day: in person, online, and in memory.

ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):

Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:

• Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50^th birthday (May-ish 2020) I began guitar lessons in January.  I can play six notes on two strings, but not very fast and not without looking.  I can also play 4 or 5 chords, but I’m definitely going to need back up at my show (if the show happens.)

• Complete a triathlon – I can still do the run and swim, but I haven’t been in a pool and now I don’t know if any NYC pools are open OR if the triathlon will occur in April (my gut says no)

 

• Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – My favorite comedian will be in London the weekend of October 16^th.  If the Jaguars play that weekend or the weekend after, I may go to both events 

 

• Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – yeah well, um …, I’ve been putting up humorous dance moves, but that’s about it

 

• OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report (same as last month)

 

• Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’ve prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles (same as last month)

 

• Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond, some initial conversations have been set in place, but not a date

MAIL INBOX: (empty, but please send me questions or comments and maybe your thoughts will be included in future Chronicles)

Sending positive energy, loves, and laughs your way today and every day.  Much, much love to YOU!

Until next time, I remain …

Your friend,
Judgy 
Hairpin,
Coach,
RayShawn,
B-Roll,
The Brooklyn Prophet,
Li’l Jackie,
Schmendrick,
Jasper Hackenburg,
Hairpin,
Or if you prefer 
Eric

Be Kind.  Be Brave.  Be Human

Dance Challenges Day 2 and Day 3

Day 3: Just Me

Dance Challenge Day 3



Day 2:  And then there were three ...

Dance Challenge Day 2

Whilst you wait for the soon-to-be-available Hairpin Chronicles

 You may wish to minimize your screen size, because this link is creating too big a blow up of my head.

This is an important cause though it may not seem like it.  It's a way to address the anxiety and uncertainty of social distancing.  I hope you enjoy it and it encourages you to address your own self-care.  

YCDA Challenge Day 1 of 13

Reboot Volume 1 Issue 3: Scintillating Scenarios

Hey Ho, let’s go!  I am in Reno, Nevada for a financial aid conference.  It isn’t nearly as much fun as when I was here 18 years ago on TrollTour.  I won’t be “sailing with Captain Morgan” tonight or any night, though Papa Hairpin is flying in to join me for some much needed father/son time.  He’s not here yet so I have no updates.

However, I do have some updates that are very exciting to me.  So many that I don’t know where to begin.  So let’s begin with my distaste for the word “amicable” especially when it precedes “divorce.”  The EX and I have been saying “amicable” for several months.  We had a significant fight the day before Thanksgiving so I don’t know if we will continue to use it.  Even before the fight, I never felt comfortable saying “amicable.”  But I said it because I thought it’s what people wanted to hear, especially if those persons were friends with both of us and/or concerned with my well-being.  I felt I could say amicable because we weren’t raging or hating each other.  In some ways “amicable” is a continuation of our wedded problems which is complacency or stagnation.  In marriage and in separation-towards-divorce, we don’t address our issues or stop when it gets contentious/heated.  Admittedly a lot of that is me.  I was raised to be argument-averse.  I shrink or runaway from conflict.  In group counseling, our therapist always tried to encourage me to engage my anger – it rarely worked.  I’ve been repressing it for over 40 years.  Engaging my anger is what led to our pre-Thanksgiving Day fight.  And while I regret that the boys witnessed it and were upset by it (Thing 1 was crying), I was proud of myself for standing my ground and sharing my anger.  Proof positive that life is full of yin and yang moments – the same occurrence can be both good and bad.

Before the fight, my plan was to travel to the in-laws house with the EX and the boys.  After the flight we both agreed it best that I not attend.  After work I was looking for movies that I might watch that evening, but some internet k-hole search prompted “dance.”  So I switched gears with hopes that a dancing venue may present itself and it did!  Instead of spending stale, conflict adverse time with the EX and in-laws, I danced my ARSE off until 4am in the morning (wearing my Circus Barker outfit from my show last year.)  It was glorious and phenomenal.  I enjoyed every moment of it.  I danced, danced, danced as if I was paid to do so and with an energy that would have run the Energizer Bunny down.  Admittedly, I was on fumes from 3:14 am onwards.  I danced with a couple of girls.  The one I danced with the longest was this tall platinum blonde Amazon, but she left me for the DJ which I was totally okay with.  I don’t know or remember how to bring someone home.  On the subway ride home, I engaged some fellow dancers who invited me to join them for their after hours party, but I was tired and I knew drinks and maybe drugs would be involved so I said no.  On of them was a recently divorced older female with two children as well.  I should have exchanged numbers, but again I’m out of practice (and was never the best at that during my whoring days.  I mean dating days.)

I got home after 5:30am and slept past 1pm.  One o’clock in the afternoon people!!!!  I can’t remember the last time I slept past 7:30am.

And now I present…

Haiku of the Month

Possibilities

Abound for growth and learning

Ready, here I come

I do not recall if I’ve spoken to my “Self-helpery” journey.  Yes, I could look at the other two issues, since there are only two, but I’m not going to look. I’m sticking with “I do not recall.”  But yeah, I’m big on my self-helpery and growth.  One of those things is doing more of what makes me happy.  As a result, I enrolled in a 10 week dance workshop that culminates in a dance recital.  It has been so much fun and more than I had hoped for.  Plus it will be my first recital since I was four year old.  While maybe not as flexible, I am a much better dancer at 49 than I was at 4, so I’ve got that going for me.  After this recital, I’m going to sign up for a belly dancing class.  “A belly dancing class?  Why on earth would you do that?”  Well in addition to being interested in different styles of dance motivated by different cultures, there’s a lot of women in these classes.  Hello?!  Did you see my facebook post a few weeks ago?

If you did not, it’s okay.  I am not mad or upset.  I don’t lead horses to water, so why would I make them drink?  I do perform in cabaret shows with belly dancers, singers (with good voices), flame twirlers (think dragon staff – and when I say “think” I mean “google”), modern/jazz dancers, comedians (not me), and sword swallowers.  It was beyond fun.  I was surrounded by creative souls and performers and it hammered home the point that these are the people I wish to be surrounded by more often.  As for me, my act combined comedy, singing, dancing, and an exciting umbrella. It was a lot of fun and well received and who doesn’t enjoy praise.  I believe videos will be made available in the coming weeks.  I will definitely share the link on facebook and embed it in future THC.

Also inline with doing things that make me happy, I found out that Pearl Jam was touring Europe on the morning I was heading out to Reno, NV.  Lucky for me, “Beads D’Anal” lives in London, so offered up a couch or floor to me, so not only do I get to see my favorite band in Europe, I get to spend time touring London with one of my favorite strangers.  I am so excited on so many levels.

Finally, I also communicated with my favorite comedian who at best is a C-level celebrity.  He lives in Bisby, Arizona and said I could visit with his desert compound.  Maybe I’ll even be invited to be a guest on his podcast.  He took time away from his island vacation (partying with Johnny Depp) to reply to my request to meet.  I had sent him kind of a superfan crush letter requesting the meeting.  I may be more excited about this than seeing Pearl Jam with Beads.  This guy has had a huge impact on who I am, some decisions I’ve made, and some decisions I will make.  This is huge.  Be happy for me.

ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):

Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:

• Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50^th birthday (May-ish 2020) I now own two guitars – acoustic and electric
• Complete a triathlon – signed up for a sprint triathlon on 4-26-2019
• Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – perhaps even more exciting than seeing the Jaguars is seeing Pearl Jam.  I already have the tickets for me, “Jackie Chan” and crew
• Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – two fun, well-received cabaret shows at the end of November and dance recital in two weeks (from December 2^nd)
• OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report (same as last month)
• Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’ve prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles (same as last month)
• Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond, some initial conversations have been set in place, but not a date

I’m thinking of adding a “mail” component to the Chronicles.  If you have a comment or question, email me and maybe just maybe you will see your name in an upcoming THC.

Happy Holidays to you and ALL your loved ones.  Until next time…

Your friend,

Judgy Hairpin,

Coach,

RayShawn,

B-Roll,

The Brooklyn Prophet,

Li’l Jackie,

Schmendrick,

Jasper Hackenburg,

Hairpin,

Or if you prefer

Eric 

The Hairpin Chronicles: Reboot Volume 1, Issue 2

The Hairpin Chronicles

Reboot: Volume 1 Issue 1

November 2019

If you like these Chronicles, then thank “Q” because she does not let up and holds me accountable for writing them (thank you Q!)

Hola, como estas? I’m good (or at least that’s the lie I tell myself regularly.)  Of course as soon as I begin my own pity party, I buck up and tell myself, I’ve got it good when there’s a lot of people in the world who have it so much worse than I do.  “Fake it till you make it,” right?

I tell myself that this is a coping mechanism, but I’m not sure if it is.  Perhaps like most things in life, the answer lies in the gray area between “yes, it is” and “no, it is not.”  As a result of my muddled emotional and mental health, I have immersed myself in the pursuit of “self-helpery” (a term I love and admittedly stole from the author Jen Sincero.)  It should be noted that I was seeing a counselor, but due to the constraints of our wonderful healthcare system, I’ve been without one for several months, arguably when I need one most.  For this reason, I’m leaning in on the things I want to do or wanted to do but couldn’t because of a fixation of putting family first.  “Me vs. Family” – it’s very similar to what came first, “the chicken or the egg.”  How can I neglect the family over my needs, but if I don’t address my needs, then how can I meet the needs of my family?  That’s the quandary I was in, but I’m shifting to me-first.

I’m in good to great shape physically and I signed up for my first triathlon which is April 29^th a week before my 50^th birthday.  I’m finishing up a really fun and cathartic dance workshop that culminates in a recital in mid-December.  If a video is made available, then I will definitely share it.  In two weeks, I will be performing in a cabaret/burlesque benefit show. This is my third time performing with this organization that produces shows that raise funds to end violence against women.  If you cannot attend, please consider donating to the cause: https://4thuartivists.com/current-production/

I am also looking at signing up for a philosophy work shop, aikido/tai chi, or a different dance workshop as I continue my quest to find out who I am.  You know the struggle that every almost-50 year old has, “What am I going to be when I grow up?”

Life loves to throw you into comical situations.  I’m a firm believer of this.  One Saturday when I was walking home, I was stopped by a teenager and his two friends.  The teenager told me his girlfriend had just broken up with him and he was seeking advice on how to deal.  I thought to myself, “wow, this kid has a good head on his shoulders.”  My first suggestion was “Celebrate, you don’t need her,” but I quickly realized this isn’t the answer he sought because he said he wasn’t going to celebrate.  He wanted to get back with her and couldn’t get her out of his head.  I felt for this kid.  Who hasn’t gone through this?  I then remembered that I was currently in a relationship situation that I didn’t want to be in and I was wasting a lot of time thinking about what could I have done better?  Can I fix it?  My next suggestion for him was really a suggestion from myself to myself.  I told him “Get busy.”  Do things that you like to do or do things that require focus and attention.  In my later years, I’ve really bought into “idle hands are the devil’s handiwork.”  For that kid and myself, stop thinking about thinking and do things that lead to positive things, even if incrementally small.

And now I present…

Haiku of the Month

The noise in my brain

Tries to stunt all the progress

Silence IS golden

As I struggle with the awkwardness of living alone again, I’ve become a bit too focused on jumping into a relationship.  I’m online dating which is simultaneously vexing and fascinating.  I feel like I have an acute skill at “reading” a person by their profile, yet I cannot seem to write one for myself that seems adequate.  I’ve had a few dates which are much more mechanical than the random hookup that used to occur on the bar scene.  One thing that has changed drastically since my pre-marriage dating days is the existence of normalized promiscuity which is now accepted as conscious or ethical non-monogamy (ENM.)  It works out quite well for those seeking hook ups.  And while I am ALL for hook ups, really I am, I still believe in and seek an authentic relationship. 

A quote that is really resonating with me right now is “People deserve to have their needs met in relationships.” And while I seek one or multiple relationships online, I have to remember that the most important relationship is the one between me and me.  Of course I find “me” to be very distant and sometimes non-communicative.  I really wish “me” would work on his open-ness and communication skills.  The good news is that I like “me” and won’t give up on him.

FYI, I finished Thing 1 and Thing 2’s fall soccer season as their head coach.  Thing 2’s team won their final tournament in the secondary talent division and Thing 1 WON first place in their division.  Both boys were instrumental in their team’s victories because they are both dominant soccer talents.  Of course you are cordially invited to boost my ego and insist the results were all due to magnificent coaching.

ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):

Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:

• Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50^th birthday (May-ish 2020) I now own two guitars – acoustic and electric
• Complete a triathlon – signed up for a sprint triathlon on 4-26-2019
• Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – no progress per se, but still very much on the to do list for 2020
• Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – two shows in November 2-19 and a recital in December 2019
• OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report
• Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’m prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles
• Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond

And above all, continue the resplendent resurgence of the Hairpin Chronicles.  Until next time…

Your friend, (this is where I sign off with several of the monikers I have enjoyed over the last two decades)

Judgy Hairpin,

Coach,

RayShawn,

B-Roll,

The Brooklyn Prophet,

Li’l Jackie,

Schmendrick,

Jasper Hackenburg,

Hairpin,

Or if you prefer

Eric