Reboot Volume 1 Issue 3: Scintillating Scenarios

Hey Ho, let’s go!  I am in Reno, Nevada for a financial aid conference.  It isn’t nearly as much fun as when I was here 18 years ago on TrollTour.  I won’t be “sailing with Captain Morgan” tonight or any night, though Papa Hairpin is flying in to join me for some much needed father/son time.  He’s not here yet so I have no updates.

However, I do have some updates that are very exciting to me.  So many that I don’t know where to begin.  So let’s begin with my distaste for the word “amicable” especially when it precedes “divorce.”  The EX and I have been saying “amicable” for several months.  We had a significant fight the day before Thanksgiving so I don’t know if we will continue to use it.  Even before the fight, I never felt comfortable saying “amicable.”  But I said it because I thought it’s what people wanted to hear, especially if those persons were friends with both of us and/or concerned with my well-being.  I felt I could say amicable because we weren’t raging or hating each other.  In some ways “amicable” is a continuation of our wedded problems which is complacency or stagnation.  In marriage and in separation-towards-divorce, we don’t address our issues or stop when it gets contentious/heated.  Admittedly a lot of that is me.  I was raised to be argument-averse.  I shrink or runaway from conflict.  In group counseling, our therapist always tried to encourage me to engage my anger – it rarely worked.  I’ve been repressing it for over 40 years.  Engaging my anger is what led to our pre-Thanksgiving Day fight.  And while I regret that the boys witnessed it and were upset by it (Thing 1 was crying), I was proud of myself for standing my ground and sharing my anger.  Proof positive that life is full of yin and yang moments – the same occurrence can be both good and bad.

Before the fight, my plan was to travel to the in-laws house with the EX and the boys.  After the flight we both agreed it best that I not attend.  After work I was looking for movies that I might watch that evening, but some internet k-hole search prompted “dance.”  So I switched gears with hopes that a dancing venue may present itself and it did!  Instead of spending stale, conflict adverse time with the EX and in-laws, I danced my ARSE off until 4am in the morning (wearing my Circus Barker outfit from my show last year.)  It was glorious and phenomenal.  I enjoyed every moment of it.  I danced, danced, danced as if I was paid to do so and with an energy that would have run the Energizer Bunny down.  Admittedly, I was on fumes from 3:14 am onwards.  I danced with a couple of girls.  The one I danced with the longest was this tall platinum blonde Amazon, but she left me for the DJ which I was totally okay with.  I don’t know or remember how to bring someone home.  On the subway ride home, I engaged some fellow dancers who invited me to join them for their after hours party, but I was tired and I knew drinks and maybe drugs would be involved so I said no.  On of them was a recently divorced older female with two children as well.  I should have exchanged numbers, but again I’m out of practice (and was never the best at that during my whoring days.  I mean dating days.)

I got home after 5:30am and slept past 1pm.  One o’clock in the afternoon people!!!!  I can’t remember the last time I slept past 7:30am.

And now I present…

Haiku of the Month

Possibilities

Abound for growth and learning

Ready, here I come

I do not recall if I’ve spoken to my “Self-helpery” journey.  Yes, I could look at the other two issues, since there are only two, but I’m not going to look. I’m sticking with “I do not recall.”  But yeah, I’m big on my self-helpery and growth.  One of those things is doing more of what makes me happy.  As a result, I enrolled in a 10 week dance workshop that culminates in a dance recital.  It has been so much fun and more than I had hoped for.  Plus it will be my first recital since I was four year old.  While maybe not as flexible, I am a much better dancer at 49 than I was at 4, so I’ve got that going for me.  After this recital, I’m going to sign up for a belly dancing class.  “A belly dancing class?  Why on earth would you do that?”  Well in addition to being interested in different styles of dance motivated by different cultures, there’s a lot of women in these classes.  Hello?!  Did you see my facebook post a few weeks ago?

If you did not, it’s okay.  I am not mad or upset.  I don’t lead horses to water, so why would I make them drink?  I do perform in cabaret shows with belly dancers, singers (with good voices), flame twirlers (think dragon staff – and when I say “think” I mean “google”), modern/jazz dancers, comedians (not me), and sword swallowers.  It was beyond fun.  I was surrounded by creative souls and performers and it hammered home the point that these are the people I wish to be surrounded by more often.  As for me, my act combined comedy, singing, dancing, and an exciting umbrella. It was a lot of fun and well received and who doesn’t enjoy praise.  I believe videos will be made available in the coming weeks.  I will definitely share the link on facebook and embed it in future THC.

Also inline with doing things that make me happy, I found out that Pearl Jam was touring Europe on the morning I was heading out to Reno, NV.  Lucky for me, “Beads D’Anal” lives in London, so offered up a couch or floor to me, so not only do I get to see my favorite band in Europe, I get to spend time touring London with one of my favorite strangers.  I am so excited on so many levels.

Finally, I also communicated with my favorite comedian who at best is a C-level celebrity.  He lives in Bisby, Arizona and said I could visit with his desert compound.  Maybe I’ll even be invited to be a guest on his podcast.  He took time away from his island vacation (partying with Johnny Depp) to reply to my request to meet.  I had sent him kind of a superfan crush letter requesting the meeting.  I may be more excited about this than seeing Pearl Jam with Beads.  This guy has had a huge impact on who I am, some decisions I’ve made, and some decisions I will make.  This is huge.  Be happy for me.

ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):

Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:

• Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50^th birthday (May-ish 2020) I now own two guitars – acoustic and electric
• Complete a triathlon – signed up for a sprint triathlon on 4-26-2019
• Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – perhaps even more exciting than seeing the Jaguars is seeing Pearl Jam.  I already have the tickets for me, “Jackie Chan” and crew
• Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – two fun, well-received cabaret shows at the end of November and dance recital in two weeks (from December 2^nd)
• OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report (same as last month)
• Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’ve prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles (same as last month)
• Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond, some initial conversations have been set in place, but not a date

I’m thinking of adding a “mail” component to the Chronicles.  If you have a comment or question, email me and maybe just maybe you will see your name in an upcoming THC.

Happy Holidays to you and ALL your loved ones.  Until next time…

Your friend,

Judgy Hairpin,

Coach,

RayShawn,

B-Roll,

The Brooklyn Prophet,

Li’l Jackie,

Schmendrick,

Jasper Hackenburg,

Hairpin,

Or if you prefer

Eric