The Hairpin Chronicles
Reboot: Volume 1 Issue 1
November 2019
If you like these Chronicles, then thank “Q” because she
does not let up and holds me accountable for writing them (thank you Q!)
Hola,
como estas? I’m
good (or at least that’s the lie I tell myself regularly.) Of course as soon as I begin my own pity
party, I buck up and tell myself, I’ve got it good when there’s a lot of people
in the world who have it so much worse than I do. “Fake it till you make it,” right?
I tell myself that this is a coping mechanism, but I’m not
sure if it is. Perhaps like most things
in life, the answer lies in the gray area between “yes, it is” and “no, it is
not.” As a result of my muddled emotional
and mental health, I have immersed myself in the pursuit of “self-helpery” (a term
I love and admittedly stole from the author Jen Sincero.) It should be noted that I was seeing a counselor,
but due to the constraints of our wonderful healthcare system, I’ve been
without one for several months, arguably when I need one most. For this reason, I’m leaning in on the things
I want to do or wanted to do but couldn’t because of a fixation of putting
family first. “Me vs. Family” – it’s very
similar to what came first, “the chicken or the egg.” How can I neglect the family over my needs,
but if I don’t address my needs, then how can I meet the needs of my
family? That’s the quandary I was in,
but I’m shifting to me-first.
I’m in good to great shape physically and I signed up for
my first triathlon which is April 29th a week before my 50th
birthday. I’m finishing up a really fun
and cathartic dance workshop that culminates in a recital in mid-December. If a video is made available, then I will definitely
share it. In two weeks, I will be performing
in a cabaret/burlesque benefit show. This is my third time performing with this
organization that produces shows that raise funds to end violence against
women. If you cannot attend, please consider
donating to the cause: https://4thuartivists.com/current-production/
I am also looking at signing up for a philosophy work shop,
aikido/tai chi, or a different dance workshop as I continue my quest to find
out who I am. You know the struggle that
every almost-50 year old has, “What am I going to be when I grow up?”
Life loves to throw you into comical situations. I’m a firm believer of this. One Saturday when I was walking home, I was
stopped by a teenager and his two friends.
The teenager told me his girlfriend had just broken up with him and he
was seeking advice on how to deal. I
thought to myself, “wow, this kid has a good head on his shoulders.” My first suggestion was “Celebrate, you don’t
need her,” but I quickly realized this isn’t the answer he sought because he
said he wasn’t going to celebrate. He
wanted to get back with her and couldn’t get her out of his head. I felt for this kid. Who hasn’t gone through this? I then remembered that I was currently in a
relationship situation that I didn’t want to be in and I was wasting a lot of
time thinking about what could I have done better? Can I fix it?
My next suggestion for him was really a suggestion from myself to
myself. I told him “Get busy.” Do things that you like to do or do things
that require focus and attention. In my
later years, I’ve really bought into “idle hands are the devil’s handiwork.” For that kid and myself, stop thinking about
thinking and do things that lead to positive things, even if incrementally
small.
And now I present…
Haiku of the Month
The noise in my brain
Tries to stunt all the progress
Silence IS golden
As I struggle with the awkwardness of living alone again, I’ve
become a bit too focused on jumping into a relationship. I’m online dating which is simultaneously vexing
and fascinating. I feel like I have an
acute skill at “reading” a person by their profile, yet I cannot seem to write
one for myself that seems adequate. I’ve
had a few dates which are much more mechanical than the random hookup that used
to occur on the bar scene. One thing
that has changed drastically since my pre-marriage dating days is the existence
of normalized promiscuity which is now accepted as conscious or ethical non-monogamy
(ENM.) It works out quite well for those
seeking hook ups. And while I am ALL for
hook ups, really I am, I still believe in and seek an authentic
relationship.
A quote that is really resonating with me right now is “People
deserve to have their needs met in relationships.” And while I seek one or
multiple relationships online, I have to remember that the most important
relationship is the one between me and me.
Of course I find “me” to be very distant and sometimes non-communicative. I really wish “me” would work on his open-ness
and communication skills. The good news
is that I like “me” and won’t give up on him.
FYI, I finished Thing 1 and Thing 2’s fall soccer season as
their head coach. Thing 2’s team won
their final tournament in the secondary talent division and Thing 1 WON first
place in their division. Both boys were
instrumental in their team’s victories because they are both dominant soccer
talents. Of course you are cordially
invited to boost my ego and insist the results were all due to magnificent
coaching.
ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by
sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):
Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:
- Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50th birthday (May-ish 2020) I now own two guitars – acoustic and electric
- Complete a triathlon – signed up for a sprint triathlon on 4-26-2019
- Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – no progress per se, but still very much on the to do list for 2020
- Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – two shows in November 2-19 and a recital in December 2019
- OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report
- Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’m prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles
- Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond
And above all, continue the resplendent resurgence of the
Hairpin Chronicles. Until next time…
Your
friend, (this is where I sign off with several of the monikers I have enjoyed
over the last two decades)
Judgy
Hairpin,
Coach,
RayShawn,
B-Roll,
The
Brooklyn Prophet,
Li’l
Jackie,
Schmendrick,
Jasper
Hackenburg,
Hairpin,
Or
if you prefer
Eric
