The Hairpin Chronicles: Love in the Time of Coronavirus

The Hairpin Chronicles

Reboot: Volume 1 Issue 4

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

March 2020

 

So as Syracuse Q or Bronx A points out, the Hairpin Chronicles is over due (by a measly 3 months.)  Had I written this in January, I would have had some major announcements.  Had I neglected to that (I did), then I’d still have some kind of big news to share.  Failing those two chances (I did), then I would have still had some major epiphanies and feelings to express, but now I’m in mid-March 2020 and the world has sheltered itself indoors and away from everything.  Or as my new favorite meme suggests, “Sorry folks, the world’s closed.”

As Social Distancing transitioned from jokes and indecision into “What the EFF” is happening, New York City felt a lot like it did the immediate week after the September 11 attack on the World Trade City.  The mood everywhere was somber and not a whole lot of people wanted to leave their house.  Just kidding, no one wanted to leave their apartment – there ARE no houses in New York City.  A big difference is that bars remained open where people could drown their sorrows with friends and empathic strangers.  Plus, the despair and uncertainly lifted after three weeks to a month as the fires were extinguished and the city began rebuilding.

Now though, I’m pretty sure we haven’t gotten to the new status quo yet and when we do, it will last more than the month or six weeks the politicians are telling us.  My employers sent everyone home with laptops to work remotely.  I fought it and stayed in my enclosed office with two monitors, but once the NYC schools shut down I was forced to work remotely AND watch two nuclear bundles of energy trapped in a 600 square foot “junior one bedroom.”  Nothing has been fun about this.  I haven’t had toilet paper buying issues or long lines.  I don’t eat a lot of things that other people buy.  I’ve been a vegetarian for over a month and my local store always has the perishable vegetables (I just wrote and said that in my head for the first time ever – “Perishable Vegetables” sounds like a super fun song They Might Be Giants would sing, If Those Giants Might Still Be Singing.)

I have become a Zoom expert.  Between team meetings, meetings with students, and online play dates, I take part in at least 7 Zoom conference calls a day.  On one day, I was simultaneously on a team meeting, hosting an online play date for Thing 2, and trying to follow the online dance party group I have joined.

It's not all gloom and doom though.  I’ve communicated with some people through social media that I “didn’t” have time to.  I had a golden nugget of an amazing time chatting with a friend from the TrollTour movie.  It was short, chill, and a perfect social distancing moment.  It also reminded me how humans can build such strong, intense friendships with other humans that “pop” in and out of your life.  There’s been A LOT of “popping” in my life and I am very thankful for the people who had a physical presence in my life for a few years, but have taken permanent storage in my heart.  It’s really nice.  It’s reassuring have these relationships and it’s the buoys that I’ll hang onto instead of drowning in the Seas of “TEEZ”: anxieTEEZ and uncertainTEEZ.  (Yes, it did hurt this English major to spell those words so horribly wrong.) 

And now I present…

Haiku of the Month 
Anxiety and
Uncertainty clog my thoughts
But hope still dreams big

So yeah, I mentioned that NYC feels very similar to the post-9/11 NYC and I will tell you why that’s a good thing.  New Yorkers were SO incredibly nice and kind to each other as we dealt with the horrors of September 11^th.  It lasted for months.  I am seeing and I am feeling that coming back, but if “Flattening the Curve” takes several months, then I am hoping so does the kindness and generosity.  My bet says it does!

Also, the funniest I have EVER been in my life was the days and weeks after the September 11^th attacks.  Everyone around me was so glum and sad, so I went OUT of my way to make everyone laugh and I excelled at it!  I did some stupid and ridiculous things, anything that would get someone to crack a smile.  With Social Distancing soon to become Shelter in Place, it’s a bit more difficult.  I’ve been adding some fun dance videos on my facebook page and I might expand it to Zoom Karaoke and maybe Zoom Open Mics who knows.

Before checking in on accountability, let me share a favorite word of mine: “choice.”  You choose your perception and you choose who writes your own personal narrative.  Is the pandemic horrible?  In a lot of ways, yes, but I have made the choice to be healthy and I have made the choice to find the nuggets of joy, the nuggets of family, and the nuggets of friendship that encircle us every day: in person, online, and in memory.

ACCOUNTABILITY SEGMENT (new addition to T.H.C. – as by sharing my goals, I am more accountable for pursuing them):

Goals as stated in Volume 1, Issue 1:

• Create a 40-minute set of rock music song originals (or parodies) and play them in a live show for my 50^th birthday (May-ish 2020) I began guitar lessons in January.  I can play six notes on two strings, but not very fast and not without looking.  I can also play 4 or 5 chords, but I’m definitely going to need back up at my show (if the show happens.)

• Complete a triathlon – I can still do the run and swim, but I haven’t been in a pool and now I don’t know if any NYC pools are open OR if the triathlon will occur in April (my gut says no)

 

• Fly to London, catch a Jaguars football game in Wembley Stadium, and possibly hang with “Jackie Chan” – My favorite comedian will be in London the weekend of October 16^th.  If the Jaguars play that weekend or the weekend after, I may go to both events 

 

• Perform at least 24 times (twice a month) – yeah well, um …, I’ve been putting up humorous dance moves, but that’s about it

 

• OR land a gig at a comedy club helping the booker or wrangling comics at an open mic – not so much to report (same as last month)

 

• Finishing a book or screenplay – the book is my guide on raising children though the moral of the story is not to have them in the first place, and the screenplay would be an original tale of several characters interconnected in their dysfunctional lives OR a re-write of The Warriors (A grotesque thought, I know but I didn’t say I’d do ALL of this) – I’ve prioritized my own self-helpery, but I have ideas and one or two titles (same as last month)

 

• Visit the Dakota Hairpins – no plans per se, but I will pursue more frequent nationwide travel to family in friends in 2020 and beyond, some initial conversations have been set in place, but not a date

MAIL INBOX: (empty, but please send me questions or comments and maybe your thoughts will be included in future Chronicles)

Sending positive energy, loves, and laughs your way today and every day.  Much, much love to YOU!

Until next time, I remain …

Your friend,
Judgy 
Hairpin,
Coach,
RayShawn,
B-Roll,
The Brooklyn Prophet,
Li’l Jackie,
Schmendrick,
Jasper Hackenburg,
Hairpin,
Or if you prefer 
Eric

Be Kind.  Be Brave.  Be Human